The standoff...

Oh the joy's of Motherhood!! As you are trying to get your kids to understand they may have choices in life but not always, LOL the battle of breakfast began!

As I got up and started my day, I asked my youngest daughter "what do you want for breakfast" she said crackers. I said "no, baby girl we are working on eating more healthy fresh live food." I continued to tell her that we have fresh strawberries, pineapples, blueberries etc. I told her, I can make you one of the smoothies that you like. She said "No" and started to whine! "I want crackers mommy" as she squirmed in her chair. I said what about eggs on a croissant. (normally this is her favorite next to a fresh smoothie), at that time I had already gave my son his normal favorite cereal. Then he turns and say's "mommy I don't want this, I want crackers" I said listen y'all, when you were at school or church you don't tell your teacher you don't want this or that... you may say I don't like or eat that but you typically eat what they have. My daughter replies "I eat school food cause I like what they serve" I said "oh not all the time because you have told me some lunch you never ate because you didn't like the meats etc'' So the standoff got crunk, she started to whine louder and cry and bounce in her seat... wait a minute did I tell y'all she is 7! LOL, LOL, I went and cut on a church service to get focused and then I turned to her and said... "you have three choices, a croissant, smoothie, or fresh fruit. You don't normally eat cereal, so which one?" Well she fussed more. I told her "listen, those were your choices and since you didn't want them you will be hungry (now for those of you looking to stay I am starving my child or should have just given her the crackers, you have to be in my home to know, I would never starve them but when you normally eat the items offered and today you want to whine because you ain't getting your way. The foot has to be put down) My kids are in a phase to respect what I say and be thankful for what you have... so I walked off. She went to the sofa and started listening to the sermon playing... a few seconds later she comes to me and says "mommy, can I have two of the mini croissants with cream cheese, I said,  "I can add butter, as there is no cream cheese." She heated them in the toaster, and went on her way. She thanked me for helping her heat her food and we talked about her throwing a fit vs just eating what we had.

In the midst of this stand off, I felt like I had on armor to not give in, I would have normally called my husband to tell him to talk to her. I told her today is a new day, and you will respect me and honor me. She hugged me and went on her way.

This stand off seemed like forever!! I normally would have given her the crackers after the second bounce or whine, but not today!

I know that I can be easy with my kids and let them slide, but when I was prompted to see thru the manipulation and tantrum, I hand to stand my ground. She may have been a little upset, but her future self will thank me. In life we have the ability to choose, but in some instances we don't, she is an athlete and has to understand authority, honor and respect. Also to be thankful for what she has even if it isn't what she wants a the time. We have to teach them that sometimes in life you may have to wait for what you want or be patient till it comes. What you feel you lack others would appreciate, because they may not have anything. I want my kids to have it all, but I want them to have honor, character, integrity the most. Being appreciative of the small things matters.

As the quote goes, (I don't know who said it or what kids movie it came from) You get what you get and you don't pitch a fit!  My adage to that is "You get what you get, and you don't pitch a fit, and if what you get ain't what you want, go make it happen!

Love,

Kristine

Thoughts... thoughts... thoughts...

So many thoughts come in at one time. It's like a train station, in bound and out bound every five minutes a new set of thoughts. The funny thing is, like a train carrying a variety of passengers of all walks of life... your train of thought comes from various outlets. Have you ever thought about that? Take time for a moment, TV, radio, podcast, social media, telephone calls, work, family, kids, billboards, checkout aisle and  magazine covers! They all send messages. What is key is how you can control those thoughts, believe the truth and not a lie and stay focused!

I recall saying I can't control my thoughts, there are so many coming and going every second it seems like. So many people would share with me so many different ideas or view points, then there is TV and my upbrigning. I felt like man if "I could control my mind I could handle alot of what is coming at me". Well the truth is you can! I went on a journey to change the way I think and let me say it's not fun nor pretty. I had days that seemed so frequently filled with doubt, fear, unhappiness, you name it I probably felt or thought it.

I begin to dissect my thought life, my husband would say "write down your thoughts and in a day or so we will review them against the word of God". I was like ummm naw, I can't because if you see what goes thru my head you would be like I'm out! He said nope, never that, I want to show you how much the enemy and your past is lying to you. I have to be honest, I wrote two paragraphs on a thought train that was riding thru and never showed him. I totally deleted what I wrote and that began me really peeling off the blinders of the lies I was watching ride thru my brain.

I began to speak against what I would think, for instance if I had a thought that my kids think I am not a good mother. I would speak to myself and say "Kristine God chose you to have your kids and therefore you are a excellent mother who loves and cares for her children, your kids love and need you". I created a whole confession off of the scripture " I can do all things thru Christ who gives me strength" Phil 4:13. I created "I can do all things thru Christ who gives me strength: I can be a excellent mom to ____, _____, ____ (my kids names) I am a patient mom, I am a loving mom, I am a nurturing and fun mom.  I took this confession to every area that my life or thought / belief system was struggling in. If it was finances, I created a line that said " I am a woman of wisdom, I count the cost and consider the fields, I make wise spending decision and do not let money motivate me" (something to that effect) My entire confession was on my mirror and at the top was I CAN DO ALL THINGS THRU CHRIST WHO GIVES ME STRENGTH TO DO SO: (thenI would list the areas of my thought/belief system that I needed to develop in.) From family, marriage, finances, exercise, food/eating habits/kids/husband/ travel etc. I covered it and delt with it head on. And let me tell you!! I have a new way of thinking that is so peacful, powerful, focused, and free!!

I challenge you to do the same. Really take a look at your life, your thoughts, what areas are you needing some confidence in or to overcome... create a new thought and confession and see how your world changes!

Love Kristine

Renewing the mind...

I use to hear this terminology used so loosely... "just renew your mind, change how you think" and I felt like I did more the most part. I would focus on new thoughts, new ideas etc. But I found myself at the same ole place... down and out or feeling less than. I began to go on this mental journey of "Renewing my Mind". I began to think about my thoughts and address where the root of it came from. The bulk of it was past hurt, past bad circumstances, TV and others opinions. Some of it actually came from comparing myself or situaiton and circumstances to others. I would began to think thoughts of "why  not me", "when is it my turn" "why can't I have that ", I allowed the thoughts that I wasn't worthy or accomplished because I didn't have what societies success look like, to enter into my head. I didn't finish college, I didn't have a career for years. So I felt unaccomplished and unworthy. Thru my marriage and friendships God began to help me to see beyond a degree, beyond a out of wedlock child, beyond being multiracial and see that I am chosen, that I was hand picked and custom made by Him. When I started thinking about the thoughts that would contradict God's written and spoken word over my life I began to see how to really renew my mind. I have to watch what goes in my ears, eyes and comes out of my mouth. I had to really began to look at what I was saying because it came from within. For the most part I didn't really believe half the stuff that entered my head but it sure felt real when things came up. I began to focus on God's love for me and why He created me. If the thoughts came that I am not successful, I began to remind myself of all the small accomplishments that I have had in any area. Success isn't determined by  a College Degree or a certain income bracket it too me is determined by one thing... Not Quitting! Renewing the mind requires addressing root issues, being honest with yourself and most importantly getting into your word and allowing His love to overshadow the negative seeds that were planted. It is a daily journey that I am still on... my mind and thoughts today are far more peaceful and confident then they were 5 years ago...